My 35th Birthday Post
Last week (October 13th), I celebrated my 35th birthday. Each birthday, I like to reflect to see if there are any insights that I need to take with me moving forward. I don't want to miss any lessons that I need to learn. I woke up on my birthday with immense gratitude and spent the first hour of waking praising God. My life is a testimony of so many answered prayers, and for that, I am truly thankful. I spent the day before with my family having all the fall fun our hearts desired: pumpkin picking, hayrides, corn maze, and of course, apple cider. Everything on that list, excluding the apple cider, was a first for me. Pumpkin picking isn't a thing in Jamaica, which is where I spent my most formative childhood years. When my husband asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, I told him that I wanted to do something fun with my family. Something that all of us would enjoy. It's difficult to put into words how blessed and how grateful I am for my family. The family that I prayed for, and that brings so much joy to my life.
A few days after my birthday, I spoke with a friend reflecting on the past year. During our conversation, she said, "you've allowed another part of your identity to flourish." With that one statement, she articulated the ways I've grown and stretched in the past year. Before getting married and becoming a mother and a stepmother, I was a single professional working and living in Brooklyn. I was happy and fulfilled, and I drew a lot of my identity from my accomplishments. Then I met and married the man of my dreams, and here I am, a wife, a mother, and a suburbanite.
When my friend said that I allowed another part of my identity to flourish, she was right, in the past year, I've leaned into becoming and blossoming into a mother and a wife. These new identities represent new chapters in my life that are still unfolding; they have stretched me, challenged me, and enlightened me in profound ways. These new chapters require me to evolve into a more patient, more giving, more efficient, and more courageous version of myself. While I still am myself on many levels, so much of who I am have changed.
As I evolve, the thing I'm most thankful for is that I came to marriage and motherhood, a wholly formed person. Not a perfect person, but as someone who did a lot of the work it takes to know yourself and show up as your whole self with all its strengths, shortcomings, and quirks. I don't believe that any single role you take on in your life, whether in your career or your personal life, can complete you. Nevertheless, these roles can indeed expand your life in beautiful and joyous ways. As I continue to evolve as a woman and an individual, I appreciate the beauty and joy in my life.
